A pastor is not a super hero.

Being a pastor is great, we get to steer people through their spiritual life and share in our most intimate moments. It's great because we love people. Honestly, people are the number one reason to being a pastor. Some people thinks it's because we love God.

I don't love God any more than you do, but I might just love you more than you do. And that's what motivates me, you and the billions of people just like you, all loved by God, all wanting a better relationship with yourselves, each other, and God.

And sometimes we fail. Quite often we fail to be fair. It can be an unfortunate miscommunication, something misunderstood. And then there are the times when circumstances conspire against us and we feel like the biggest baddies on the planet, Darth Vader has nothing on me some days.

'I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.' Yeats.

This poem, these lines, they've been on my mind all week. I love people, and acknowledge that all of humanity is created in the image of God. So when someone approached me wanting to use my church for a support group for adults with autism, I was elated. A sanctuary, a safe place, where people can be made whole. This is what pastors live for, well I do at least.

I wanted with everything within me to support them. It's something I am not called or equipped to do. I teach Bible stuff, I write blogs on theology and God stuff. So to find people with a real passion and ability to meet the real and pressing needs of people is just amazing. I wanted with everything within me to support them. Unfortunately, I am not a super hero, and some things are just beyond my ability.

I have a small chapel, we have two rooms, a nave or sanctuary, and a small kitchen to make tea and coffee in. The deal with safeguarding, which we have to take seriously, is that whenever children or vulnerable adults are present, there has to be a minimum of two adults to a room. This makes perfect sense, the protection of children and vulnerable adults has to be a priority, and however much I trust the people I fellowship with, the safeguarding rules are there for a reason and have to be adhered to.

And then a group come, wanting to show the love of God to vulnerable adults who desperately need it, and I cannot accommodate them because they don't have enough adults to comply with our safeguarding policy.

It sounds odd, that the work of God and the love of God is derailed due to bureaucracy. And it makes me feel like such a failure.

I want so much to see everyone included, everyone welcome into the Kingdom of God, I want to be like Jesus and embrace the leper and the marginalised. But red tape prevents me. And in one way, I am so glad that it does.

I have been doing church a long time, a lot longer than the current safeguarding policies have been in place. Years ago we thought nothing of picking a load of kids up and giving them a lift to youth services or worship practice, but times have changed.

When we read about sex scandals in churches, and the young victims who have fallen pray to once trusted degenerates, we can't help but understand why trust in the church has been eroded. Whatever we can do to rebuild that trust has to be our priority.

Then there's the finance issue. A group using a church three days a week means money, it's a horrible thing to discuss, but heating, lighting, electricity, it all costs. In order to cover those costs I have to charge enough that the group in question will struggle to pay its volunteers. I hate having to put money before the well being of others, I feel quite mercenary. The truth is that a great many churches are struggling to keep the lights on, especially those of us who are independent so that we can work towards an inclusive environment which focusses on the marginalised and dispossessed.

My church is in one of the most impoverished areas of the UK with massive unemployment and an ageing population. Exactly the area that a project like this is most needed.

And I can't fund it, and I am the reason that a small start up project can't get off the ground.

When I think of the people I am unable to help when they reach out to me, I cry buckets. I would love to say 'yes' to everyone who shows Gods love to creation. But it's unrealistic, and it shows me just how humble I am, and how sometimes I have step on the dreams of another.

These aren't decisions I enjoy having to make, and I feel rotten. I feel like I have failed because I have protected my pulpit at the expense of people.

I have always tried to be honest in these blogs, and I'm not looking for sympathy. I feel called to this life of ministry and I have to live with the realities of modern living just the same as you do.

So please just remember, your pastor is not a super hero, we can't wave a magic wand and make everything easy. I wish that I could. And decisions like this hurt us more than you know.

Hopefully this will give you some insight to what it is we do in a week, we work more than just a Sunday. And if you can help out with your local church, I have no doubt that your pastor will be more than eager to hear from you.

God bless.